"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
