i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
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watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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