Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize