OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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