Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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