That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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