I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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