Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish i was in the wii world.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
