I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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