Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
