I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
