you guys were way drunker than both of me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So apparently I’m into choking now
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