I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize