Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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