i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
