I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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