yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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