Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
