I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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