Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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