I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
