the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
