yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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