If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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