Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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