I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
