Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
