so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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