so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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