Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
