Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
