you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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