Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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