I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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