he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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