So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
