This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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