I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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