I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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