I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
