don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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