Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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