It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
