let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
