If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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