does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize