whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
