so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
