My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
