Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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