someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
