How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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