She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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