I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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