dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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