Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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