So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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