Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
