Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
