If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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