there was a trapeze. enough said
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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