It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
