Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
