I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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